Your 15 Minutes of Fame...

If anyone out there is interested, I received this email today from a producer at a legitimate and well-known local television station. Please contact her directly at the email address below if you are sincerely interested. Please note that she has informed me that she is looking for someone who is willing to show their face and speak openly about being a submissive man on camera.

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For the past 8 years I produced for an award winning television show called ***** which explored human sexuality in an open, honest, and respectful way.

I am currently working on a pilot for a new show and I was hoping to get your help. For the pilot – I am looking to speak with a charismatic and articulate submissive man. Ideally this person would have a really regular daily life (i.e. family, office job, etc) which contrasts with their fetish life.

If there is anyone you would suggest who might fit this bill – that would be lovely.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Best,
Cynthia
ilovestrongwomen@hotmail.com

Exercising Control...

Anyone can point a gun to someone's head and force them into submission. Muggers and serial killers employ this technique to great success. If I threaten to hurt you, to really hurt you, you will likely do what I say. One could technically say that the "victim" in this case has been "dominated". However, I can tell you that as a Domme, brute force is not as interesting to me (most days of the week) as is the intoxication of psychological control.
A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of learning about sensual domination from international fetish diva and sex educator Midori. The most potent and memorable thing she said was that a great Dominatrix or Top will continually seduce their submissive into consent. I interperet this to mean that in every moment, the Domme offers the submissive a choice: To jump off the precipice into the unknown or not, while simultaneously making the unknown look so attractive that the submissive can't help but want to go there. Approaching domination in this way requires more presence, more artistry, and more skill. And the submissive, who in his perfect trust chooses to say yes to each opportunity presented, is giving their Top that much more meaningful a gift: conscious, willing surrender.

Revisiting Sexual Stereotypes

Men's desire is supposedly:
initiative, assertive, physical, competitive, genitally-oriented, quick to arouse, seeking sex, and focused on performance,
while women's desire is supposedly:
receptive, submissive, emotional, cooperative, whole-body oriented, slow to arouse, seeking love, and focused on connection.

These ideas are so ingrained in our social fabric that many people take them for granted. While they may be true some of the time for some people, they are not necessarily true all of the time for all people. When men or women have fantasies and/or desires that do not fall into the correct category for whatever gender we happen to be, our first instinct is to make them wrong, to dissociate from them and pretend they're not there, or even to put them down when we see them in other people.

I would argue that both men and women experience an amalgam of the above traits, at different points in time, even at different ages. The purpose of bringing this to your awareness is so that you can start to ask yourself where in your life you buy into these stereotypes, and therefore where you are limiting your sexual imagination. Do you suppress your desire to be tied up and ravished by a woman because you think it will mean you will be less of a man? If you are a woman, do you get uncomfortable if your male partner asks you to dominate him because you think being assertive sexually is unnatural for a woman?

Just something to think about...

Dreaming Up The Ultimate Playspace

For over a year now, upgrading my play studio has been high on my list of desires. Aware that I am providing you all with high quality and skilled domination, therapeutic, and fetish services, I want a playspace that better reflects the magickal, mysterious, sensual, and otherworldly ambiance that I weave. I am creating a distinctive and beautiful oasis with adequate space, that is discrete, safe, and comfortable for you. And I would love for all your energies to be woven in to assist me in manifesting this dream.
Therefore, at this time I am appealing to the loyal and devoted followers of my blog and/or website and to my dear slaves and submissives for support of my dream in whatever way you are able: Perhaps you or someone you know owns live/work zoned property and is open to having me rent space in the downtown Toronto area, perhaps you are skilled in making furniture and would like to donate a few custom-made dungeon pieces, or perhaps you would simply like to make a tribute that will be put towards the project.
I will be collecting resources and contacts between now and August 2009, with the intention to move into the new space in the fall of 2009.
Let the process begin!

On men and submission...

There is nothing sexier in my opinion than a man who is consciously willing to step into a place of no control. The potency of the trust required to do so is heady and intoxicating to me. Oversteeped in the excess of masculine energy required to function in today's world, it is more important than ever for a man to get off the hamster wheel of direct, focused action and goal-orientation. If even briefly.
Men need to be lead back into connection with life, with humanness, with what is innately feminine and beautiful about themselves and the connections that they have to the world around them. Submission, particularly in a psychosexual sense, is one of the ways that a man can begin accessing that.
A strong man is one who can weep AND pursue his vision and goals, without seeing the two as contradictory.